Phuket with Hobos

Phuket, Thailand

I was strolling along a narrow path which was sandwiched between a symbol of american imperialism (McDonalds) and what seemed to be a river of asphalt, at least that was what I could make out from the dark silhouettes along this poorly lit street. A cold breeze was gently caressing my face, sending a shiver down my spine. Apropos of nothing, a warm fuzzy sensation tingled on my shoulder. I glanced to my right to identify the source of this peculiar feeling and was instantly stupefied.

For a plump feminine figure was leering towards me with lustful eyes, beckoning me to patronize her services. “Massage, come come, happy happy”, she purred, in a bizarrely deep voice. I scanned my surrounding, perplexed by queer situation unfolding before me. At this moment I realized, that the shadows were closing onto me were in fact people of dubious repute. The wind blew once more, this time, with me running along with it.

This was 4am in Phuket.

We flew there a few days back. With 4 Days and 3 nights of adventure packed activities, with skin scorching beaches, nights and nights of inebriated partying awaiting us. We kicked started our trip at Changi Airport:

Ben believes that having his stomach filled is the ultimate goal in life. So this was what we discovered in his bag when we reached the airport:

What can you expect when you go on a vacation with a Hobo? You get a guy who brings along food to snack on the airplane. Well, we all ate it anyway, but I think you get my point. So the same guy decided to get drunk by himself in our airbnb room before we actually head out, and got really pissed off when we tried to wake him up. *Shaking my head*

The stuff mentioned below are the things I found most interesting:

Phuket Town. What’s not to like about night markets, museums and heritage buildings? We had a fantastic day in this town, exploring, snacking and buying random stuffs that we don’t need at all. Phuket’s trip eye museum was one of our favorites, with lots of dumb and hilarious photo taken in it.

So, a random Jo, feeling adventurous as f@%&, set his mind to doing a jump shot at one of the exhibit. Despite several valiant attempts, he was never able to progress beyond taking unsatisfactorily awkward photos in his quest to go for the largest leap in mankind. Finally, when he was on the cusp of success, he propelled himself vertically but due to his feeble limbs and the slippery ground (more of the former), he ended flying horizontally into the ground instead with a massive thud. This explosion of noise was only rivalled by the level of uncontrollable laughter as everyone feasted on the sight of Jo lying motionlessly on the ground, seemly given up on life.

Inside the Phuket Upside down museum, we decided to let the child inside us come to life and took part in the Maze Race. Sadly, defeat was already predestined when Ben joined my team. (Totally not me ;p)

With only 2 points of escape from the maze, Ben and I chose to start at one point while Jo and Malik decided on the alternative. The race was inaugurated when our overly-excited Thai game master yelled “Start”. I blitzed through the maze with Ben close behind me like a headless baboon. Naturally, we ended up hitting the same dead-end again and again, while Jo and Malik stood victorious vigorously taunting us with our litany of failures. Well what can you expect when you put two directionally challenged morons in the same team? With exhaustion taking its toll and us finally realizing that our ass have been served back to us, we decided to heck care and just cut across the maze shamelessly to what we thought was our salvation - the exact same dead-end. :((((((((((((

The Nightlife. As night fell over Phuket, Ben and I found ourselves washing away our sorrows with cheap booze at illuzion. The tempting offers of free entry, buffet liquors and a never ending stream of excitement were surprisingly no illusion in this club.

It was so good that by dead of night, I was just a bottle of vodka. This was when another bottle of vodka resembling a tomato stained caucasian guy staggered towards me. Pleading, in drunken stupor, for directions to the nearest washroom (to puke probably). Tapping into my ever present heroic instincts, I began elucidating the most detailed answer I could to my newly found friend. He listened attentively to my sagely advice and nodded a bit too eagerly to words like “walk straight”, “turn left” and “turn right”. After enlightening him, repeatedly, he finally set about his journey to the west - which involved just walking straight for 5 meters before crashing into the toilet door.

The Viewpoints. Phuket has tons of breathtaking spots where you can soak in the beauty of the island from a bird’s eyes view. My favorite being : Promthep Cape. A majestic rocky headland located at the south of Phuket Island, with insane amount of tourist visiting throughout the day.

The Beaches. With more than 30 beaches on the island, no doubt you cannot NOT spend a day getting roasted under the sun building sandcastles. Well, you can do water sports there too, but due to budget issues (ben is broke), we decided not to. ;)

Where did we stay at?

Reference :

Patong Tower
110/21 Patong Tower Condominium Thaweewong Road,Phuket, 83150 Patong Beach

Credits to Desmond Chye for being an awesome editor!